The halachah permits close relatives to attend a wedding with the proviso that they participate in some way, such as by helping to serve food and the like.
It is interesting to note that the Beis Meir (Yoreh Deah, 391) posits that the heter to participate by serving should apply all-the-more-so to those who wish to participate in a wedding that is not of a close relative. His logic is based on the fact that relatives usually participate in the wedding with a much greater degree of joy than a non relative. If so, the same heter should be applied to non-relatives. If they help serve the food, they too should be allowed to attend.
However, it appears to me that this logic is questionable.
The Ritva (Moed Katan 22b) explains the underlying principle behind the prohibition for an avel to participate in a simchah. He says: because the avel is instructed to remain focused on his own mourning for that period of time, he does not have the obligation to bring joy to the chassan and kallah in the first place.
Regarding close relatives though, because their absence at a wedding will undoubtedly bring pain to the chassan and kallah, they actually have a greater level of obligation to attend. Thus, the dispensation made possible by serving food becomes acceptable only at the wedding of close relatives, whereas the wedding of ordinary people cannot invoke this heter.
That said, it is nevertheless ok to go to the Chupah (even if there is music), and if one wishes to eat, it should be done in another room.
No comments:
Post a Comment